OUR 50th ANNIVERSARY PRAYER
50 years is a long time to share a life together. We started this journey through life in 1967- Full of hope, dreams, and plans.
Thank you, Lord, for blessing us, protecting us, forgiving us, and walking with us - during the most difficult times in our lives.
Our marriage survived many storms, heartaches, and losses.
However, The Blessings -- that came our way - far outweighed the hard times.
Today, We celebrate all the joys, happy times, accomplishments and triumphs.
Today, we celebrate ‘The Family’ born out of this marriage.
We ‘Thank God’ for ‘each addition’ to our family (Spouses - Grand Children – Great Grand Children).
No Parent - could be ‘more proud’ of ‘their children’ than we have been for our own.
Built from the fabric of their grandparents, they grew up to be of strong moral character, resilient to adversity, persevering through life, and bearing the attributes of a Christian Heart. What more could a parent ask for? What more could attest to ‘the value’ of their union?
We Thank God for the good things that have come from these 50 years of marriage. We rest assured that God has forgiven us for our mis-steps - we look forward to a life together - more appreciated of each other , committed to mutual care, and satisfied that - years ago - we realized the many things we valued and loved in each other outweighed anything else .
We pray that God will continue to bless and protect us on our journey forward in life - and - that he will bless and protect our precious family.
In Jesus’ Name, we attest these things, Amen.
Marriage is a Garden Salad
What is a Garden Salad? A mixture of tender young greens – fresh, healthy, but somewhat lacking in flavor. The adding of some type of ‘salad dressing’ adds that much needed flavor to a salad. Some like a mild smooth on the palette flavor while others like a make your eyes water and your lips pucker zing of flavor - the latter is the type of flavor that oil and Vinegar will give you.
Marriage is two people combining everything about themselves into one life to be lived together. Individual personalities add the flavor. Flavors can be similar in nature which offers a smooth consistent taste; a sense of comforting sameness and continuity, or, they can be bold and sharp requiring a process of agitation/blending to bring the two ingredients together – uniting their very different flavors to complement each other which adds diversity and excitement.
For a moment, think of marriage as a salad. Even when the greens are tender and freshly picked, the taste is bland without some sort of salad dressing being added to give flavor to the mix. The salad dressing is that special ingredient that makes the greens palatable and satisfying.
So, if marriage is the salad, we could think of the personalities of the bride and groom as ‘the salad dressing’. In this case, my husband and I would most definitely be “Oil & Vinegar”. Our personalities couldn’t be more different. I’m pragmatic , controlled, with a black & white jurisdiction about behaviors. He is fearless, free spirited, with a more forgiving nature for behavioral mishaps. This union of such drastically different personalities has been a hard mix, just like oil and vinegar. The process of mixing oil and vinegar is called ‘agitation’, and throughout the years there has been plenty of that. And, something has to be added as a cohesive emulsifier to bring the two together. They will never blend into a smooth mixture on their own. A simple shake of the two in a jar will never blend oil and vinegar, it takes a vigorous intense whirl of a blender to get the job done. Our life together has definitely been a whirl. Vinegar alone has a sharp caustic taste. Oil alone is smooth but tasteless and greasy. However, when combined, they perk up a lifeless salad like no other salad dressing can. The emulsifier which kept us together was the ‘unconditional commitment’ to the vows we took stating we were going to hang in there for the long haul ‘through the better and the worst’. 50 Years Later – We Make a Great Salad!
For a deeper look into Marriage is a Garden Salad, I have included ‘excerpts’ from posts from some interesting websites that I thought readers might enjoy – Also, I am posting a 50th Anniversary Prayer which I wrote and shared with my family at our 50th Anniversary Party.
(Modified Excerpt from Family Life.com)
Interestingly even after the bottle has been shaken, the two retain their unique identities. And yet they complement each other in a perfect unity; together, they serve as a zesty finish to an otherwise bland mix of lettuces. And so it is in marriage, a husband and a wife sharing a life together, yet remaining unique. He will always think like a man; she, like a woman. While their innate design will not change, they can better understand each other and move to love each other with compassion, knowing that, in so doing, they give each other life.
I think this article from Dr Michael Bechtle sheds and interesting light on Oil & Vinegar Marriages
I turns out that when you shake the oil and vinegar mixture, it breaks the liquid into tiny droplets. The droplets aren’t really mixing; they’re just hanging out temporarily, like people who just walked into a crowded event with thousands of people.
It looks like they’ve combined. But eventually, the droplets rejoin their friends in small groups and the liquids separate again.
But there are things called emulsifiers that can slow that process down considerably. Emulsifiers are different types of food you add to the mix that keeps those droplets separated longer. They work at the molecular level (which is why it’s off my radar – my high school chemistry teacher suggested I find a career in writing).
It turns out that certain herb-based vinegars blend better, because they coat the molecules so they don’t reattach as easily. That’s a simplistic perspective, but it explains why some salad dressings stay mixed longer than others.
But my favorite discovery was egg yolks. One description said that the molecules in egg yolks have sort of a head and a tail. One end is attracted to water molecules, while the other end is attracted to oil molecules. So they act as a bridge between the two to hold them together. It’s kind of a chemical matchmaker to keep totally unique types of molecules connected
Mayonnaise is a great example. If it didn’t contain egg yolks, it would separate in the refrigerator over time. But with the yolks, it’s filled with tiny matchmakers that hold the whole thing together. That’s why we don’t have to stir mayonnaise each time we use it.
OK, maybe mayonnaise isn’t the healthiest thing in the fridge. But it’s a great metaphor for relationships.
Here’s my take on it:
There are “salad dressing relationships” and “mayonnaise relationships.”
Salad dressing relationships consist of two unique people trying to blend together. They live in the same bottle, and they’re trying to become one. But their different temperaments, personalities and interests drive them apart. They try to find common ground, but end up irritating each other. Over time, they get used to it and take each other for granted. They’re together, but living separate lives.
Mayonnaise relationships have the same unique people trying to blend together. But somehow, it works. Their relationship is stable, even in the middle of the tough patches in life.
Mayonnaise Relationships have emulsifiers.
It’s the ‘emulsification’ process (the agitation) that forces the two to combine into a creamy smooth end product.
What are the emulsifiers that make the difference?
- Unconditional commitment – Something powerful happens when there’s an atmosphere that says, “You’re stuck with me . . . I’m not going anywhere.” Those are phrases that need to be verbalized often, not just assumed.
- Courtesy – The closer a relationship becomes, the more important it is to monitor respect for each other. Courtesy is the “golden rule” in practice, valuing others in the same way we want them to value us.
- Mutual benefit – When conflict comes or we need to solve a problem, it’s healthy to look for solutions that benefit both of us.
- Ownership – Healthy people take ownership of their emotions. If we blame someone else for the way we feel, we’ve given them control of our emotions. We can’t stop the feeling, but we can decide how we’re going to respond.
- Identity – Marriage is a team sport – a single unit made up of two unique individuals. They each make a unique contribution that’s distinct from the other members of the team, but they work together to accomplish a common purpose. The strength of any relationship is the distinctness that each individual brings.
Vinegar without oil, oil without vinegar - not very appealing. But put them together and you've got a pretty tasty combination there!
There it is - the vinegar and oil of a healthy relationship. "The truth" - that's the vinegar. The oil - that's the love. See, together, they are a life-building, life-changing combination. But one without the other can create serious problems.
If you're like most people. you're probably stronger in one of those than the other. You may be a person who is straightforward, outspoken, and transparent. People know where you stand. But your truth without the oil of love may have such bite that people may sometimes spit out the very truth you want them to hear.
Now, if your communication is too much vinegar, would you ask our gentle Savior to wrap your truth in more tenderness? To help you affirm and praise people at least as much as you confront them? To let people know you love them at the same time you're confronting them with the truth?
Now you may be saying, "Well, I don't give people that biting feeling. I'm smooth and gentle like oil." Your strength is more on the love side, but many people who are loving and encouraging can sometimes do it at the expense of the truth. You won't confront, you bury things you ought to be saying, you postpone dealing with hard issues which only postpones the inevitable and sometimes causes an eventual explosion. Will you ask your Savior, who is the Truth, to help you deal with hard issues, to speak up for the truth, to confront tensions and problems when they're small?
So often, the "truth champions" don't say it with love. And the "love champions" don't speak the truth. But God calls us to both! If there are problems in a relationship right now, it may very well be that there's been too much truth and not enough love, or so much love without dealing with truth. It takes both the vinegar of the truth and the oil of love to keep a relationship healthy. Vinegar alone? Uh-uh. Oil alone? No way. It's the vinegar and oil together that makes a wonderful combination.
These Articles helped me understand 'the why and how' our marriage lasted through the years. Thank God for 'Egg Yolks".